To Hold Back or Not To Hold Back?
That is the million-dollar question if your child has a summer birthday. I have seen so many parents, including myself, agonize over whether to send their child to Kindergarten or hold them back another year. Let me first state there is no right answer. The answer should be based on your child and your child alone. However, there are some factors to consider when making this important decision:
Maturity - Maturity is defined as an “advanced stage of mental or emotional development”. For parents who have children with summer birthdays, maturity is one of the most important factors to consider. Making sure a child is socially, emotionally, and mentally ready to take on the day-to-day aspects of Kindergarten is important. Will your child have the maturity to listen to the teacher for longer periods of time or work in a collaborative setting? Does your child have a solid emotional foundation to help them be successful in school? Children born in June, July, and August can be eight to nine months younger than some of their peers. This doesn’t automatically mean they should not start Kindergarten but it is important to recognize the potential disparity in maturity between them and their peers. If you are deciding whether or not your child should start Kindergarten, start the conversation when they are four years of age. It’s tempting to talk about it and make the call when you deliver your sweet baby boy in June (trust me, I know!) but until you have four full years of understanding their emotional, social, and mental levels, a sound decision can’t be made. All children are different and having a summer birthday should not be equated with holding a child back. However, it’s important they are socially and emotionally mature enough to be successful in Kindergarten and subsequent years.
Academic Level - While Kindergarten is supposed to be the year when children start to learn letter names, sounds, sight words, etc…, more and more children are learning these standards in Pre-K or before. If you have a child who loves learning and is able to take all this new information in without a struggle, they will do just fine in Kindergarten. Even if they have a summer birthday.
Future Impact - I tell parents all the time to not parent for the now; parent for the future. I wouldn’t make a decision to hold my child back solely based on how they might perform in Kindergarten. I want to think about how their life will be many years down the road. Holding a child back would mean they would be the oldest in their grade and sending them on would mean they would be the youngest. Think about the impact of being the oldest or youngest in a grade. For example, will the difference in age show up in their future academic performance? Will they be able to do things their peers cannot because of their age? Or vis-a-versa? Will they be ok being the youngest to graduate or get their driver’s license? Again, only you can answer these questions but they are important to consider.
So if you have a child with a summer birthday, look at their maturity level, their academic progress thus far, and the potential impact of your decision in their future. But know that there isn’t a right or wrong answer and you are not alone!